Things I’ve Learned

I had planned on writing a new post much sooner than this, but packing your life into 5 bags and a container (for storage – not shipping!) is quite an experience, as is world travel with said luggage and 2 kids. Thought I’d share some of my observations, and the things I’ve learned through the experience. I’ve numbered them, though not in order of importance or preference.

1.  When packing your life to move it across the other side of the world, I would recommend not working right up until a week before you are due to leave. Finish as early as possible, I’d suggest a month. At least.
   This gives you:
   a) opportunity to finish well at work and have time for proper goodbyes & closure
   b) time to solely focus on everything that happens in life outside work for the last little while before you go. It’s incredibly difficult to remain focused on your job when you have so much else going on. And yes, I speak from experience. As in the kind of experience you have from not taking your own advice.
2. Pack your house and move out at least a couple of weeks before you are due to fly out. That way it’s all done and you have time to give others, and yourself, plenty of opportunity to say goodbye. Packing the house, redirecting the mail and all those little, last minute jobs take a lot of time away from what’s most important – relationships. One of the things that saddened me most in our last weeks at home was feeling like I didn’t have the time to spend with friends and family to say goodbye.
3. Don’t be too proud to accept help from others.
   As a very wise person told me – people won’t offer to help if they don’t really want to, and for some, that’s how they express their love for you. I cannot express how grateful I am to the people who gave up time to come and do odd jobs, tidy the gardens, help with a garage sale, people who recognised that I wasn’t coping and came and packed most of my house in the weeks, and then days, before we were due to fly out, who weren’t afraid to say “Get rid of it” or “Yes, you should keep that” when I couldn’t make the decision, who finished the packing when we ran out of time, who cleaned up the mess we left so the house was ready for the tenants.
4. Limit your luggage.
   We were in a bit of a tricky situation – packing to move for at least 4 years to a country with a temperate climate, but spending over a month traveling to places that were freezing. So we had to have clothes for all climates, but at the same time have the things we would need for life. We managed to squeeze everything into 5 bags, plus carry on, but wrangling all of it, plus the 2 kids, in and out of transport was tricky. Especially the trains in Switzerland.
   

   Waiting for the train in Geneva.

5. Take ‘comfort items’ for the kids.Not sure if I read that somewhere, or if someone told me, but it was some great advice. It’s tempting to take out the toys, game and books the kids love so there’s more space for more ‘important’ items, but having some things that the kids are familiar with has been invaluable. When they aren’t coping, pulling out something they love works wonders. Can be a hard call when one of the most important comfort items is a heat pack that weighs about a kilo, but it was a good call.
6. When you make the effort to visit people who are far away, even if you don’t know them, they don’t mind you staying a while! One of the hardest decisions we made on this trip was how long we wanted to spend with people in each place. Budget and time constraints are of course factors, but only staying a couple of days/nights because you don’t want to overstay your welcome shouldn’t come into it. Unless you are planning on staying for weeks or months – that might be a different story! I think our only regret was not having more time to spend with everyone.
7. Earplugs are the most amazing invention ever. Pack a decent supply!

So there it is. Seven things I’ve learned in the last few weeks, though I’m sure there are more.
How about you? Any lessons from major life changes?

Part 2.

A continuation of The Backstory

Just to clarify, when I say application forms, it wasn’t a couple of pages with personal details etc. It was about 12 pages of every detail you can imagine – work history, personal history, our stance on various Biblical principles.
A week in (which equated to about 18 pages for my application alone) we were robbed and the computer was stolen.
Bye bye application forms, along with a lot of other stuff.

I lost my oomph at that point, the thought of starting the application again was not an exciting one.
(For some perspective, because at this point I feel like I’m sounding pretty pathetic! I also thought I’d lost 18 months of university coursework, hundreds of hours of personal reflection – a massive component of my Uni course, play therapy client notes, not to mention the personal documents, 5 years of teaching resources and family photos. I was a little overwhelmed! About a month later I discovered things weren’t quite that bad as I’d backed-up fairly recently & didn’t lose as much as I’d thought.)

During all of the time since the conference AIM had been sending us emails about the positions they had that needed filling – a huge variety of jobs in different African countries, with a multitude of people groups. Each time we received an email we’d look at it and rule it out for one reason or another – the main one being “It’s not in Kenya”.
In late October we received an email from AIM entitled “AIM youth work service options in Rwanda”. I almost didn’t bother opening it, but I did and discovered a job description that was almost an exact description of Pete’s current job. I texted Pete to tell him about the job (but not where it was), then forwarded the email – and heard nothing back. I figured it would be what had become the standard response – it’s not in Kenya.

But when Pete got home from work that afternoon, the first thing he said to me was, “So we’re moving to Rwanda?”

We halted progress on the SIM application (which simply meant not starting again!) and mulled over the pros and cons of completely changing our direction and heading to Rwanda. There were a lot of pros – much more temperate, school for the kids, not that much more difficult to get to Nairobi, a physically safer place. The cons – learning another language and being away from family and friends. The “it’s not Kenya” argument didn’t seem to factor in, but the “It’s too good to be true” argument did.
Eventually we decided that this was a God thing – why wouldn’t He provide an opportunity that exactly uses the gifts and passion that He’s given Pete?

We decided to go for it – started a whole new application form and submitted them about a week before Pete left for Kenya in December last year. We also added a Rwanda leg to his Kenya trip, meaning he was able to spend 3 days in Rwanda, checking out the camp, meeting the AIM team, & getting a very small taste of life in Kigali. He went to Rwanda with the hope that he would feel like we were headed in the right direction, he left feeling that we couldn’t not go!

And the rest, as they say, is history.

The backstory….

I had planned on writing this a while ago, but life has been pretty nuts of late. That, however, is a post for another day.

Lots of people have been asking questions along the lines of, “Why Rwanda, how did that happen, I thought you were going back to Kenya?”
The short answer to those questions is:
God. Unexpectedly. We were.

Well, that was easy!

But seriously, it’s a bit of a long story that starts about 12 years ago, almost to the day actually, now I think about it. Pete and I went on one of our first ‘dates’ (though I didn’t think of it as that at the time – we were just hanging out!) to watch the Safari Rally.

(Probably a little too close?)

Being stuck in the middle of nowhere for 6 hours meant we had plenty of time to talk. About everything. So we did. Pete shared with me his heart for the youth of Kenya and his desire to work in youth leadership training. At the time I was truly impressed by his passion and dedication to young people in a place where life doesn’t seem to offer much to many.

18 months later we were married and plotting life together – should we stay in Kenya? Return to Australia? We decided that Australia would offer the better opportunity for work and study (and I’ll be honest – I missed home and family), so we headed back with a very definite 5 year plan that would involve study and a return to Kenya.

The 5 year marker came and went with the planned study barely begun, 2 much loved small people had joined our family, and the return to Kenya was no more than a “one day” dream.

Fast forward another 4 years and the end of study was nigh so we decided to start looking for jobs in Kenya. Paid jobs, as neither of us relished the idea of raising support and relying on others to get us back ‘home’.  Plenty of options for me, not so many for Pete, at least not in his area of expertise and passion – youth leadership training and outdoor education. We ummed and ahhed and searched and prayed but nothing eventuated until we got to the point where we were feeling a bit frustrated and  wondered if we were supposed to go back to Kenya at all.

In August last year we decided to go to Reachout Missions Conference in an attempt to get some perspective, direction, confirmation.
Something.
Anything.
And that’s exactly what we got! For me it was a time of confirmation and encouragement, for Pete it cemented his desire to go ‘home’ and work with young people. For both of us we decided that if God wanted us to go back we had to be able to rely on His provision – including raising support, if that was the path He wanted us to head down.
We registered interest with SIM and AIM during the conference. Pete had found a position with SIM in Kenya that he felt he could do and was qualified for, so after chatting with SIM staff at the conference, we began exploring it when we got home.
Honestly, while it was a good opportunity with a well known project, it didn’t really tick all the boxes for Pete. But it was an opportunity to go ‘home’.

Then we realised that, while it was in Kenya, it wasn’t a Nairobi based project. It was based a 10 hour drive away, in a place that was constantly hot and humid and would require us to be permanently on malaria meds, with no schooling options for the kids, in a fairly unsettled community, far, far away from family and friends and the support network we assumed we’d be going back to. While Pete took all of that in stride, I was not so convinced that I would cope. In fact I was pretty sure I wouldn’t. But I was torn – I wanted to go back, I understood Pete’s desire to go home and do what he had always wanted to do, I wanted that for him. But I didn’t want to live in extreme heat and humidity, have to take malaria meds all the time, and the thought of home-schooling was not one that filled me with joy and excitement. And doing that away from all of my friends – what a lonely existence. So for about a month I mulled it over, thought about it, cried about it, questioned it, questioned myself, questioned God. Until I got to the point where I realised that it doesn’t work to say this is my favourite verse if I don’t believe it.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord.
“Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

~ Jeremiah 29:11 ~

So I decided to give it to God and believe that He truly does have plans for us. And if He wanted us there, He would give me the strength to cope.

We started to fill out the application forms.

Trust

Today was interesting.

Hang on, let me back track. This week has been interesting.

One of the hurdles we have to clear in order to be approved members of AIM to go to Rwanda, is to get medical clearance. No problem, we thought. We are healthy, kids are healthy, all good.

Or not. As it turns out. Before you freak out – we are all medically fine, but the kids require a few ‘extras’ that, living where we do, aren’t that easy to access. Which means appointments booked. Weeks from now. Which means acceptance to AIM delayed longer, which means the green light to start raising a support team pushed back, which means the time we have to raise all our support is reduced. Which means trust. Hanging on for dear life, ‘cos what else can we do?

Trust in God’s timing. Trust that we will get there. Sometime. Somehow. His way.

Then today the sermon at church was about generosity and contentment.

And I sat there listening, being challenged to be generous for the work of the Gospel. But how much more generous can we be? Things are already tight and we have so many more expenses to cover this year. What more can we do? What more does He expect? Surely, being willing to give up everything we have here, to move to the other side of the world is enough?

Maybe not.

Trust. And follow His leading. No matter the cost.

And be content. Content in the uncertainty. In the feeling of powerlessness. In this step of faith. In trust.

A friend talked to me after the sermon, said she was thinking of me, of our situation. “You look content” she said.

I do? I don’t feel it on the inside. It was encouraging to hear, to know that to the outside world I’m giving the ‘right’ impression. But if I’m honest, can I say that I am content? That I am ok with being where we are – uncertain about what is going to happen, and when. Am I am willing to be generous, in all situations?

How do I reconcile Paul’s words:

I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.

With what I’m thinking in my head?

So I’m off to dig out my iPod and listen, for maybe the millionth time this month, to the song that I’m taking as my own personal anthem.

And hopefully, throughout this process I’ll be able to confidently, honestly say that ‘I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.’

An update…

I’ve ummed and ahhed over whether I should share the most recent development, (next chapter, perhaps?) to this post.  I put it out there to start with (as my mum helpfully pointed out), so I figure I may as well share the rest of the story.

The original post went up on Sunday night, almost 2 weeks ago. On the following Tuesday I was informed that I was being made redundant from my job.

Yep. Seriously.

It’s taken me this long to be able to talk about it without getting angry, or crying, or questioning God’s motives. But like mum reminded me – I put it out there. So can I live it?

I don’t know what the rest of the year holds. But I do trust God – and His provision. I have no idea what His plan is, though I’m guessing it’s going to be part of the adventure finding out. In the mean time I’ll be hanging on. For dear life.

Detours

Been doing a bit of heavy reading on spiritual warfare lately – it’s been quite challenging, in some ways a whole different way of thinking. I think generally we don’t like talking about spiritual warfare, we don’t like thinking about the battle that life is when we make the decision to follow Christ, we don’t like to acknowledge that the Enemy will take any opportunity to de-rail us, to throw distractions and confusion in our path so that we stop focussing on the Truth and focus instead on the distractions.

Last week was a bit rough. I found myself applying for a job – somehow I’d convinced myself it was the right thing to do. It was a good job too – working with teachers to help them support kids with additional needs, running training for staff, coming up with programs and interventions for kids to help them cope, and succeed, at school. Sounded amazing on paper – a logical next step, a chance to do something a bit different, learn some new skills, earn a bit more money that we could save and put toward Rwanda. And surprisingly, and possibly for the first time ever, I actually thought “I could do that. You know what, I reckon I’d be good at it.” So I convinced myself that I should apply, that I needed to apply. So I did.

But the further I got into the application, the more twisted up my thoughts became, I couldn’t get onto paper in a coherent way what I was thinking in my head, I couldn’t answer some of the questions at all. I went from all confidence and bravado to a snivelling, blubbering mess, curled up in a ball on the couch, burning through the tissues, unable to function or think straight.

And then I realised that I’d lost sight of the Truth, that I was focussing on a distraction. That what seemed like provision (I still think it would be an amazing job to have!), was actually a detour, and a bumpy one at that! And while there is probably nothing wrong with the desire to do something a bit different and to build my skills, for us right now, with all that needs to happen to get us to Rwanda, a new job is the last thing I need.

So thankfully, we are back on track. Distraction prayed about, dealt with, and we’ve moved on.  Hopefully the next distraction that comes along will be recognised for what it is and dealt with a little sooner! Feel free to pray with us about that, I have a feeling it won’t be the last detour we come across on this journey.

How about you – any distractions that you need to deal with?

A blog. Really??

So here it is. My first blog post ever.

I’m a bit of a closet blog reader, I have to admit. And I’ve thought about starting one for a while, but it seems like you’ve got to be an amazing wordsmith, or a brilliant photographer, or witty, or an expert on something, or crafty, or home-decoratory, or a homeschooling mum, or all of the above, in order to blog. Me? None of the above. Just a mum, a wife, a teacher, a student, a friend, a disciple of Christ, who truth be told, probably doesn’t have time to blog between working pretty much full-time, studying, parenting, wife-ing and the myriad of other things that fill my days. But then we went public with our news, that we are hoping to move to Rwanda, and people started asking why? How? When? Are you crazy? So I thought, “Why not?” It could be a great way of documenting our journey, of answering questions, of sharing our story. And if it’s only friends and family who read it, that’s ok. In fact, it’s probably best!

So here I am. Putting it out there. Terrible spelling/grammar and all. Oh, and to answer your question – yes, we probably are a little bit crazy!